Archive for category Personal Expressions
Epiphanies
Posted by MarlenaG in Parenting, Personal Expressions, Quincy on February 27, 2010
I have been having a whole lot of epiphanies of late. Be it about the new chores I have to take care of, I’m still figuring all that out but to be honest I am really getting the hang of them. I am still learning to change with Q’s wants and needs. I’m sure all these years of learning and growing with the hubs has helped me a great deal. I’m still trying to figure out life and the meaning of it for me and my role as mother, wife, friend, sister, daughter and grand daughter. I’m thinking that I may have to continue to experiment.
I’m starting to realize all over again that I know nothing at all. I keep learning more and more and feeling like maybe I have a handle on life and then again I find myself surprised and feeling clueless all over again.
What brought all this on? I’m at a new cross roads. In the not too distant future we will be welcoming a new family member to our home and I’m still trying to figure out just how we will approach this change. The first question everyone has is how am I going to go about my recover from delivery. I am sure that this time I will do all I can not to try to jump back into full swing of things until a couple weeks postpartum. I’m simply determined to focus on my new beautiful addition and my beautiful big boy and my incredible husband.
The other question that keeps coming up is will I be working after having our newest bundle of joy and I have yet to figure out the answer to that one. The hubs has made his decision and though I think it is sweet I’m not sure if that works best for our family. We shall see.
I guess it all goes back to the entire stay at home mom vs. the working mom debate. I love contributing financially to my family. I love my job. Don’t get me wrong, my job is tough, even stressful but I do get something out of my job that is really satisfying. On the other hand, the idea of staying home with my babies, keeping a home and leaving the money making to the hubs is exciting. There is so much I fee like I am missing from the day to day with my toddler. I can only imagine what I would miss from his relationship with his newest sibling. I enjoyed my 10 weeks home with Q and I am excited about having at least as much time with our newest baby. I’m already dreading leaving my boys for work. But there is still the question if I will be as good of a mom without work. I am able to drop everything quickly to play with or cuddle my son. Will I be so quick to do that without my working? Do I get some kind of down time or selfish time when at work when all I have to think about is work and the goal directly in front of me?
The epiphany here is that maybe just maybe things in this aspect of life aren’t so straight forward. If you asked me five years ago I would have told you that I had every intention of being a stay at home mom from the moment I found out that I was pregnant. That I just couldn’t ever imagine working once I had my first child. Now, shockingly, I have no idea what the plan is while I am expecting my second child. I just want what is best for my family and I am still trying to figure out just what that means to our family.
I’m still trying to figure out what is best for me. With my myriad of health problems I know that pushing too hard is a huge detriment to myself. I’m starting to really take the time to stop and rest. I’m figuring out what my body needs and how to meet those needs. I’m learning to put myself as a priority, which is incredibly hard as a mother.
The big epiphany is there is just so much to figure out and that I may NEVER figure it all out and that is ok. That is half the fun of this ride we call life. Don’t worry, in time you will hear me spout lots of stories about my boobies again. What did you think I would post without mentioning my boobs? LOL! Yeah, no, not going to happen, after all I’m a mom. 
Navigating Domain Registration – A tale of a near miss
The story you are about to read is true, not even the names have been changed so as to fully implicate the accused.
First, a teensy bit of background. I conduct a lot of transactions online, and do most of my business electronically. I own three of my own domains, and manage a fourth for a friend, as well as hosting all of them on my own VPS. As such I feel I’ve become pretty attuned to possible scams, phishing attempts, and other ne’er-do-wells. That is, until last week.
See, when I needed to register a new domain and have it hosted, I went with the “all in one” offering with the hosting company I was using before I switched to my VPS. This was super convenient, as they handled registering the domain for me, and set me up with one year of hosting a website and email for that domain for one year. Great, one stop shopping! That was nearly one year ago, and the domain is due for renewal in December.
So, when I received an email from a domain registrar I did not recognize suggesting that I renew my domain I assumed that it was the domain registrar that my hosting company used to register the domain on my behalf. I happily followed the link and renewed my domain with that registrar for two more years. I did find it odd that I didn’t have to supply any user credentials or other identification, but I just assumed they’d use some of the personal information I provided to compare against the WHOIS or something. Besides, what do they care if someone else pays to renew a domain, even if it doesn’t belong to them, right?
Well, some days later I received another email, from what appeared to be a separate entity than the domain registrar I renewed with. This email requested that I authorize a domain name transfer to them. Hmmmn.. Wait, I thought I renewed, not transferred. Something is wrong here..
I proceeded to do a few quick Google searches on the domain registrar that I renewed with, and the name of the registrar which was apparently requesting a domain transfer. Turns out they’re all part of the same organization based out of Canada, and all I read was experiences of shady business practices and situations of domains which were either lost, or trapped in limbo! Some keywords for you to search on in order to read what I read about. No bueno!
domain registry of america scam
domain registry of america brandon gray
namejuice.com
Great, so now I realize I’ve given my personal details to some unscrupulous individuals and they’ve charged me $50 for two years of domain registration which I’ll likely never actually receive from them. Fortunately, the domain transfer request turned out to be suspicious enough to catch my attention and make me thing twice before proceeding! At least my domain name is safe (I hope).
Next steps? I call my bank, and file a chargeback for the $50 charge, and have them cancel the Visa bank card I used to place the order. Now I get to be on the look out for odd or fraudulent charges on my account, yay me! Tomorrow I’m going to try to actually renew and transfer my domain to Register.com where I manage my other domains.
So, here are the lessons I’ve learned and some sage advice you might benefit from.
- Whenever possible, register your domain name yourself with a reputable domain registrar. Something like;
- If you do happen to let some entity register a domain on your behalf, know who that registrar is. You can use the WHOIS domain services to learn what registrar “owns” your domain.
- When renewing or registering a domain, make sure not to do so by clicking on links from emails, instead go to the registered web address for the domain registrar identified in the previous bullet point
From Project Car to Hobby Car
Posted by RyanG in 1967 Cadillac Sedan Deville, Personal Expressions on November 22, 2009
I’ve owned quite a number of cars in my relatively short driving history thus-far. And a lot of them have been what I consider a “Project Car”. Now to me, that always meant a car which is pretty much your daily driver, but which gets lots of attention on evenings and weekends to either upgrade or (more commonly) repair it. These wrenching sessions were ALWAYS labored and rushed because, well, I had to drive the car to work the next day, or the coming Monday morning. This made working on the cars stressful, and burdensome, like a chore rather than a past time or enjoyable hobby.
Now that I’m a little more grown up, and have a family, our primary car (2006 Honda Odyssey) is quite new and is well maintained and needs very little (if any) attention. We also have my wifes car which is the second she’s ever owned, and is a little bit older (1992 Lexus ES300) but is also in quite good condition and is reliable. So that leaves my ‘67 Caddy, which is in need of a lot of TLC so I wrench on it, but the experience is different from that of a “project car”.
I had never realized it before, but working on a car can actually be fun! Don’t get me wrong, it’s always been rewarding, to see the results of your hard work. But when you have to rush to get done so that you have the utility of the vehicle when you’re done, it detracts some from the experience. I think I’ve stepped into a zone of having a “Hobby Car”, which to me means a car that I get to wrench on, rather than have to wrench on. A subtle difference to be sure, but very significant when it comes to the experience.
Take my latest project for instance. I had to replace the water pump since it (apparently) had a leak. Normally I would have run to a parts store, perhaps Friday afternoon or evening to get all the parts that I thought I would need. Saturday morning would come, and I’d remove the necessary parts to replace it. I’d discover that I forgot a replacement part, go to pick it up from the parts store then make some progress, and realize I needed another part I hadn’t picked up. Rinse and repeat the drive to the parts store a few times. Then upon reassembly I’d hit some snag where I either broke something, or lost a part, or was otherwise discouraged. This usually happens late on Saturday night, when I was starting to think I’d wrap the project up. I’d admit defeat, frustrated, and go to bed. Wake up late Sunday since I didn’t go to sleep til late the night before. Drag myself out to finish the job, usually repeating some of the frustration and parts runs and finally wrapping everything up late Sunday. Then, drive the car to work on Monday.
Now, however I get to really take my time. Identify the issues, order all of the right parts in advance, and even pick and choose the superior brands and have them mail ordered. I have time while the parts are in transit to clean everything up that I’m working on, removing rust, dirt, and old gasket material. Maybe even do some cosmetic things like painting. No hurry, I don’t “need” the car to be running to get me to work or take care of my family. I get to work on it at my own pace. I find that it’s actually relaxing, rather than stressful. How novel!
No doubt, the fact that I’m also able to work in a garage contributes to the overall satisfaction, but I think a lot of the enjoyment comes from being able to take my time and do the job right, with no looming deadline.
So for all you guys out there with project cars, consider buying a reliable daily driver, and make your project car a hobby car. This is advice that older, wiser gearheads have given me in the past, and I never quite understood it, until now!
The Explorer
Posted by MarlenaG in Cars, Personal Expressions on November 9, 2009
When I first discovered the Explorer it was in my Spanish class during a video group project presentation we were doing. One group accidentally left in a part when they were cruising around in their Eddie Bauer Explorer singing along with the Spice Girls, What you Want. ::chills:: Ewwww. I thought it was cheesy then when the song was at it’s height and it still annoys me to this day.
It was a cute car but it just seemed too trendy for my liking. I already was starting my love affair with Honda and Toyota. About this exact time my husband, who I didn’t know, was dreaming of owning an Eddie Bauer Explorer, along with a long list of other cars that he would so love to own. My husband has been a car guy from birth, honest.
I had a good friend that I knew since I was 13 that bought an Explorer after we graduated from culinary school. She was a personal chef for a family in town and had to do a lot of driving as they had a gourmet pallet and it was her job to keep them happy. She would drive all over town to get certain items from specialty stores as it was only the best of the best for this family. One day she got on the free way and didn’t see the car in her blind spot till it was too late. While trying to avoid hitting the other car she spun out of control and rolled the Explorer. She was hurt but not terribly hurt. I then was petrified of the vehicle.
By this time I was dating my now husband. I knew he wanted to own a Explorer one day. I saw the stats on the news, heard news story after news story about the vehicle being prone to roll overs and how the pillars in the car weren’t as strong as they used to be. Every time the car came up in conversation I would get knots in my stomach and would kindly remind him that he already had two cars and I had my own car. Why on earth would we want a fourth car? The topic would be dropped.
Three years later the topic came up again, by then we were married and my husband was in the process of selling his only car. To be honest the car was too small for my husband, when he hit 45mph in that thing his head would bounce against the roof and it was driving both of us nuts. He promised that he would be safe in the Explorer, that he would lower it and brought me so many articles about how if you were to drop it by 1 and 3/8″ it would be a whole lot safer. Some of these articles were written by professional drivers and the lowered Explorer was able to compete with some coupe cars in handling. I finally gave my blessing for him to buy the Explorer.
It was a great car, I even drove it for a while as I was trying to learn how to drive my new to me car which is a stick. It had great pick up, fantastic storage space. When I was pregnant and was too big to drive my manual car I drove the Explorer as I didn’t have to be too close to the steering wheel. We brought our baby home in that car.
My husband had made many modifications that made me feel more comfortable with us driving the Explorer on the regular. The suspension was more responsive, the brakes were incredible, the audio system was AMAZING. I began to trust the car to keep us all safe when it was dry out. I noticed that it got scary squirrely in the rain and when the ground was wet. I would pray that nothing ever happen to my husband or child while in this car, it seriously scared me.
Then one day, I was rushing home as I worked really late. It had just rained for an hour or more, sudden down pour in April. I figured I would take a faster route as I was engorged (did you really think I wouldn’t mention boobs again?) and was worried about my son having a melt down with my husband. I lowered the volume of the stereo and headed out. I kept reminding myself that I needed to be careful, that it just rained for the first time in a long time. I needed to be aware.
I sat at a red light and saw that it was safe to make a right on to the free way on ramp. I slowly pressed on the accelerator topped out at 10-15mph when the turn was completed. Then I fish tailed. I suddenly started chanting to calm down. I reminded myself not to touch the brake, not to touch the accelerator and no turning the steering wheel because that is how my friend lost complete control of her Explorer years ago. To just try to let the car coast until I got traction again. I soon felt the car calm, felt like I was in control again. I slowly pressed on the accelerator again, got up to 25-30mph and then felt the car begin to spin. I immediately took my foot of the accelerator and reminded myself not to turn, touch the brakes, not to touch the accelerator again. When I saw a construction sign directly in front of me I decided it was time to close my eyes, there wasn’t much I could do, I just didn’t want the accident to be any worse than it was going to be.
I opened my eyes when the car stopped moving. It was surreal, I wished it to be a terrible dream. Then I realized that I couldn’t get up, I couldn’t get of the car on my own. I was hanging from my seat belt looking at foliage on the median and couldn’t find my cell phone. That is when I screamed, cried, begged for help praying someone saw me and would help me. I finally found my cell phone and called my husband to get help and to apologize for destroying his baby, his car. I didn’t realize that my blue tooth was still connected to my phone, which I ripped off pissed that I couldn’t find my phone. I couldn’t hear my husband answer and not knowing he could hear me I spoke to the good Samaritan that stopped and called 911 for me.
I attempted to call my husband again and all I did was cry, I apologized over and over for screwing up. I felt like the worst wife ever. My husband responded the way a husband should, “Shut up! Are you ok? Where are you? I love you. Everything is going to be ok as long as you are ok.” I told every fireman, every police man, and every EMT, every Doctor and nurse I interacted with that night about how I destroyed my husband’s dream car.
My husband took care of everything for the next week, he was my knight in shinning armor. I don’t remember him moping or ever telling me bitterly that I destroyed his car. To be honest, I will be happy if we never own another Explorer, or any other SUV for that matter. I am happy it was me in that car as I am quite a bit shorter that my husband and I am not sure if he would have been able to walk out of the ER a few hours after being checked out. I am thrilled my son wasn’t in the car with me. That was my relationship with the Explorer, our break up was dramatic but long lasting.
Caveman instincts
Posted by RyanG in News, Personal Expressions on November 6, 2009
So as you may have already read, we moved from our apartment into a modest house. This was necessary for a number of reasons, not the least of which were our toddler growing up and needing more space, and the fact that I’m working 90%+ from home and needed an office. A couple of side benefits for me were getting a nice small(ish) lawn in the back yard, and a garage.
Lets talk about the lawn first. At our apartment, we had a small patch of dirt that was maybe 5′ x 8′ that we did clean up and laid sod. For a few weeks it was GREAT and looked fantastic. I’d water it regularly and mow it every week, it was great and I had a huge sense of pride and accomplishment in it. However, due to the way the sun shined (or didn’t as the case may be) the grass didn’t last long and I was immensely mournful when it met with it’s eventual demise.
With the new place, I get another chance to have a healthy lawn! It’s significantly larger, but not huge this time. I am again mowing it weekly, and watering it regularly, and I have a strange almost indescribable sense of pride and glee everytime I work on it or look out the window at it. What is it about a healthy, green, and well manicured lawn that resonates so deeply with the male psyche? I can’t explain it, I just know that it makes me smile and makes me want to GRUNT in satisfaction. UHHH UHH OHHAAHH!!
I also scored a two car garage in the move. Now, I know this is fairly mundane for most but allow me to explain. Growing up we lived in like three different places that had garages, however we never had space to work or park cars in the garage! As I type this, both my 67 Caddy and our family minivan are safely parked in the garage along with my tools and some items which we’re storing, and it’s clean and organized! On top of that, I have room to work which is a total luxury for me. I have done some pretty significant mechanics work in a carport with space for one car at our old apartment. This included completely dismantling the explorer down to just the sheet metal, frame, and suspension. In the short month that we’ve lived in this house I’ve had the opportunity to help my sister change her oil, and I’ve started to dig into the project of getting the Caddy’s cooling system up to snuff. The difference between working outdoors, or in a cramped carport vs. working in a garage is indescribable!
So a lawn, and a garage… Two things which I’ve gained from moving in here which seem to appeal to the very core of my being as a man. I don’t claim to understand it, but I can tell you that it’s extraordinarily gratifying and just seems to be part of the male DNA.
But I can’t juggle
Of late the hubs and I have been trying to do everything at once. Weaning our son, and encouraging him to sleep in his own bed. Both of us have been crazy busy with our jobs. We have been searching for a new home to rent. I have been attempting to get in better shape so as to be able to keep up with a baby boy and keep my health in check to the best of my abilities. We keep trying to keep our home clean, which seems to only last for a moment after cleaning. Trying to really take the time to catch up with each other and making sure both of us are really getting the down time that we need. It simply has been crazy.
Now we are recovering from a long weekend of attempting to do all of it, and do it well. My son is finally sleeping for a good stretch. It is peaceful in my home right now.
I just saw a LOVELY home that I want to live in but it is simply too small for our needs. The home we looked at last night is simply bigger than we need. I am so bummed that we can’t make the charming little place work. Did I mention that my husband is chomping at the bit when it comes to the larger home? *sigh*
I am just trying to figure out how to make everything fit in our lives and make sure nothing is being neglected. To be a good woman, a good wife, a good mother, a good daughter, a good sister…it is a hell of a lot to juggle. I am learning but dear lord, every time I think I have everything under control something new pops up. I can’t wait till the home search is done.
Appearance
Posted by MarlenaG in Personal Expressions on September 11, 2009
Appearance, it is a topic that comes up regularly. We all wish it wasn’t what we are judged by but it is. My question, or rant, is why does everyone need to fit in a box?
I am of mixed decent. I am short and curvy, my hair style is a big afro, my skin is of olive tone. To be honest I think I am cute. I always have been told by friends, family and strangers that I am attractive. I was raised not to put too much emphasis on how I look, it could be taken away in a second. I was raised to search out the secret person of the heart. I have learned that I am a pretty strong woman. I’m the kind of lady you want on your side instead of against you. I love strongly and I am one eager to laugh at life.
My little sister
I know that I don’t fit in a ‘typical’ box, especially where I live. I am the minority here. I have been having conversations with my sister on the regular over appearance, mostly because we are different looking. My sister is an adorable petite young woman. She is an incredibly strong, intelligent, witty young lady. We differ over how we like to look. I love my curves while she is in toned and ready to run. My sister can do make up like nobodies business, I am talking art worthy techniques. While I am feeling very made up with powder, mascara and chapstick. I rarely flat iron my hair, it is really hard to find someone I trust to do that professionally in town and it is hard to make that time to straighten out all of my hair. My sister will flat iron her hair, maybe put in some clip in extensions and look absolutely FANTASTIC. We are just different but in this town we both stick out majorly.
Me
I married a big blond white man, I married him because he is an incredible, incredible man. This has added to my, I don’t fit in to ‘typical box’. Then I went and had his baby, and he looks like a lot like my husband, a lot. This continued to point out how I am different. Personally I like the fact that we are a multicultural home. I love that we love each other for our differences.
I don’t know much else as my mother is a Latina and my father is African American, having more than one culture in a household is normal to me. What I don’t get is why people feel the need to point out that I am different. Why they need to question if my child is my own. Why they need to ask if I was adopted because my mother is light and doesn’t obviously look African American. Honestly, if you look at my mother and I closely we look a lot alike. If you take a good look at my son and I, we look a lot alike. Hell, if you look closely at my husband and I you would see we have similar facial features. But you have to be able to look past the color of our skin.
I was taught to look beyond color, and I am proud of it, just a shame not everyone else was taught to do the same. Try to take some time and open your eyes, we are a whole lot more alike than you may think.
My mom & Quincy
My TMI Post
Warning: This post may be a bit, um, private or sensitive but it must be said.
Time and time again I see the commercials for Viagra and Levitra and they have their spokesmen saying, puzzled that one medical condition or another has effected their performance in the bedroom.
EVERY SINGLE TIME I yell at the television questioning if that is for real. I mean really? You didn’t know that things that effect your blood flow to your entire body would effect your erectile function. For serious!!???
Mkay, I have no medical education. I only have the education taking care of my grandfather after heart attacks and open heart surgery. The education that life as a dental assistant gives you. Which by no means gives me the medical authority of anything. And yet I know that diabetes, high cholesterol, and high blood pressure can effect erectile function. I realize in turn that the medication to help with these conditions also can effect erectile function. WHY ON GOD’s GREEN EARTH DON’T MOST OF OUR SOCIETY NOT KNOW THIS TOO???!!!???
You need blood to flow to this body part to be able to function to do blank. Why wouldn’t cholesterol which slowly clogs blood vessels effect this function? Why wouldn’t high blood pressure effect this function? Why wouldn’t diabetes which effects so many other aspects of your ability to function not effect erectile function? I wish instead of using these medications men took the time to take care of themselves to do the best to prevent these issues to the best of their ability.
Too much to ask, I know. I hear more and more that men are dying from preventable illnesses. If only they had gone to a doctor and had taken action when a health concern was in the warning or beginning stages. Yet so many fight it every step of the way. They are too busy. They are able to ‘man up’ through what ever ailment they are coping with. Sigh. Yet if they can’t get it up they run to their doctor and ask for a pill.
Not often do you hear about a man who can’t get it up and they demand that their physician to do a battery of tests to make sure everything is ok. Make sure that this isn’t a precursor to another, bigger, possibly more serious health concern.
What am I getting at? Guys if you take care of yourself. If you see a doctor regularly and bring up you concerns that you may have quickly, maybe you won’t need the mighty blue pill. Maybe you will be healthy enough for sex and be able to enjoy a great deal of other aspects of life.
Common sense people, please use it.
Tethered Shooting – Professional Chimping?
Posted by RyanG in Photography, Rants on March 8, 2009
Okay, first.. This post/rant was inspired by a few tweets from Chase Jarvis. That said, I’m not throwing stones, or trying to start a fight. The topic just got me thinking and I wanted to share my train of thought. Chase, and any other professional who shots tethered, I’m actually jealous. I wish I could shoot tethered.
Read more after the break… Read the rest of this entry »
I’ll gladly pay you Tuesday for water today.
Posted by RyanG in Photography, Rants on February 12, 2009
For the past few weeks there have been a rash of issues with our water supply lines here in our apartment complex. We’ve been without cold or hot water or both for hours at a time.
It’s culminated into our landlord deciding to basically gut our water lines and replace them. So since last Friday we’ve had folks coming in and tearing out large chunks of our drywall to reveal the plumbing, then the plumbers running new source lines along the outside wall and into each apartment. Then water was turned off Monday night around 9PM. The plumbers were coming in on Tuesday to finish hooking up the lines that had been run in parallel to the existing lines. Well, the water remained off through Tuesday, and we’d already forgone bathing for one day so we weren’t looking forward to another day without running water.
That brings us to the image above. We chose to check into the Ramada Inn that’s directly next to our apartment complex. They have this awesome koi pond/lagoon which the hotel surrounds, and as I was walking to the jacuzzi that night, it struck me how pretty the whole scene was a night.
So in an attempt to find a silver lining, I took some timed exposures of the lagoon at night. I didn’t quite get the effect I was looking for, but I think this is a cool shot none the less.
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